Sick of all the rain and tired of the waiting

My head is aching like hell. I don't want to sound depressed but realle, I think I am. I'm doing my biggest effort to not cut me again. I'm sick of feeling pain. It's already too much in mi mind to start feeling it again in my body. I have the time of my life when I listen to a song that I love or when I sing it, but it all ends when the song ends. My life ends. I stop breathing, I stop living. I feel like my life is going nowhere. I don't know why or how to turn it arround, give it a meaning. I rely in my friends. My pieces of reality, otherwise I'd be already gone. I don't know where, but gone. I want a lifechanging moment, something that can open my eyes and tell me 'it's worth living, it's worth fighting, YOU ARE WORTH IT, you are good enough to live' I don't need a person, I need a wake up call. I'll do the rest, but I really need it, I can't take this feeling anymore... I'm standing on the edge

Turn Loose the Mermaids

I live, I breath, I sing. That's my thing. I live for music.
Since I was a little girl I knew that, I loved to sing songs, mostly in English, without even know that language. Whenever I felt nervous or sad, I just listened to my old casettes or sang the songs in my head and without noticing, I felt calm again. My favourite song to sing was 'My Heart Will Go On', fron Titanic, a movie thar I haven even seen complete because my parents didin't allowed me to. I sang in my shower, in my room, everywhere I could. Once I decided to sang it for my mother, after my bath. I was 10 years old I thing, or maybe younger, i don't know... whatever, the thing is that I sang it to her and I thought I did beautifully and I was very pround of myself, but my mum didn't think so: she said 'Oh it's ok, pretty good' and that was it. I don't know why, but since that momento on, I thought that 1) I didn't have the 'beautiful' voice I thought I had and 2) Everybody can just sing the way I do, everybody has the music within.
I grew up believing that things and because of thar, I kept my 'talent' just for myself. Time went by, I was 17 and I was at a friend's house. We were doing a project and I was SO bored that I decided to sing along with the radio. I didn't say 'OK, let's sing' I just started singing without really thinking about it. My friends were 'WHAT! DO IT AGAIN' and I was wtf I 'm just singing. They said I did it pretty good, that I should try to sing in the school choir. I didn't want to do that HAHA. I'm VERY shy and, what whould I do such a thing? There were many other people that could just sing as good as me. My friends insisted and I decided to give it a try. I went to my school's church, they gave me a song to sang and so did I. The acoustic in that church was amazing! And I shined over there, I felt it, and by 'shine' I don't mean 'oh I'm such a great singer'. I felt I shined. I felt bright, I felt complete, I felt... myself. I stayed in the choir until the very last day of school and half a year after that, I started singing lessons. In that place I learned tecniques, and I learnt a lot of things about my voice. Nowadays I feel much confident that I felt before about my voice. I have to lear how to believe in myself. Believe that I'm special, that I have a talent, and that I can archieve many goals if I decide to take a risk ang go for more, not staying in the safe side. Because this time I have nothing to lose, and everything to win. It's amazing how just one comment, just a couple of words could change my whole world and that after such a long time, they are still chasing me. Not everyboby can sing the way I do, and I have a beautiful voice. I just have to love it a little bit more ;)

There's No Fear In A Dream

“If you had a friend you would never see again, what would you say? If you could do one last thing for someone you love, what would it be? Say it. Do it. Don’t wait. Nothing lasts forever.”

—	One Tree Hill.